we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We got so high we made milksteak
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
