So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm too high and old for this...
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