Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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