just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
