I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
foreskin is a definite game changer
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
