Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
