I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
