On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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