I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
