I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
