you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize