what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
