I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize