just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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