WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
