I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
