Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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