Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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