i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
