Rock
Scissors
Fuck
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
