dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
