Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
