you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize