Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
