sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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