i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
