I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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