Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
