I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
