I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
