it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
