IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
