My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
