I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
