How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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