his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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