It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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