he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize