i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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