She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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