haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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