you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
