hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
