I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
