He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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