another moral hangover. fuck.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
