i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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