"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize