You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
