Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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