She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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