hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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