We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
