Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize