What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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