my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Im part way to drunk.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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