I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize