Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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