"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
