It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
