i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
