just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
