i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
